Between the Devil & Me
by Hikari-chan
Summary: In order to save Ran's life, 5-year-old Shinichi makes a deal with a strawberry blonde Shinigami.
1. Prelude

**Between the Devil & Me**

By: Hikari-chan (Chitsuki)

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I make no money from this.

**Opening Notes:** This started from a joke conversation about Shinichi encountering dead bodies wherever he goes, and turned into 3 conversations I wanted to write between Shinichi and Ai. Then I filled in scenes to make it make sense to a reader. If you're expecting the depth of "500 Days", you're going to be disappointed. This was just something short and fun I wanted to write. I hope it entertains someone for 5 minutes anyways. :)

**Major characters:** Shinichi (Conan), Ai (Shiho)  
**Minor characters:** Ran, Yukiko, Agasa

**Pairings:** minor Shinichi/Ai (Shiho) if you squint. (It's like...2 lines in Part III. :P). Suggested Shinichi/Ran.

**Inspirations:** the Harry Potter scene between Dumbledore & Harry, minor elements of Bleach, a fanart of Ai with black wings.

**Warnings:** Weird, like in a supernatural way. If there are any religious overtones, they're not intentional. Also possible typos, decidedly non-canon, and did I mention weird?

-o-o-o-o-o-

_Part I: Prelude_

-o-o-o-o-o-

"No, I don't want to go to the festival today!" The five-year-old boy pulled away from the little girl as they walked home from their elementary school classes.

"But you said you would come with me last week!" The girl frowned. She put her small hands on her hips and glared at him. "Are you breaking your promise, Shinichi?"

The boy glared back. "I didn't promise it had to be today," he argued. "The festival goes on for three days."

"Why can't it be today?"

"Because I want to play soccer with the other boys today," Shinichi explained.

The little girl started blinking rapidly, like she was trying not to cry. "Shinichi always puts other things before me," she accused.

"The festival will still be there tomorrow," he replied. "And I told you. You should call me Kudo-kun and I will call you Mouri-san from now on."

At this, the girl looked sad and angry. "Shinichi's an idiot!" she yelled. She reached out and knocked the soccer ball out of his hands, then turned and ran across the street.

"Hey!" he protested as he chased his ball.

He had barely caught it when he heard loud honking noises. Turning, he saw the oncoming truck, the girl standing wide-eyed and frozen in the middle of the street, and found himself running towards her before he even knew what he was doing.

"Ran!" he screamed.

He couldn't remember what happened next, but he did remember everything turning black.

-o-o-o-o-o-

He opened his eyes to an all-white room. Blinking, he sat up and looked around. Funny, he thought getting hit by a truck would hurt more than that. He didn't feel any pain on his body.

The "room", if it could be called that, was devoid of anything except an armchair that looked an awful lot like the one in his father's study. Frowning, he climbed up to sit comfortably in it and looked around. Where in the world _was_ he?

"Ah, I see you're awake," came a soft voice.

He whirled around and found a girl standing in front of the armchair. She looked about his age, with strawberry blonde hair and big green eyes. She wore a floor-length black dress trimmed with ribbons that seemed to float around her, but by far her most unusual feature was the dark wings protruding from her back.

His eyes widened and he wondered yet again where he was.

The girl seemed amused by his reaction. "Welcome to Limbo, Kudo Shinichi-kun," she said by way of explanation.

"Um...what?"

She climbed up onto the armchair and seated herself next to him. Shinichi watched her with undisguised fascination, reaching up to stroke the ends of her wings.

"Are these real?" he whispered.

"Of course they are," the girl replied dismissively. "Don't look so amazed. They're actually quite tedious. I always seem to knock things over because I've forgotten about them."

"That's just because you're clumsy," Shinichi blurted out before he could stop himself.

The girl narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms.

Shinichi swallowed. "Um, that is," he stammered, "I mean..."

She waved a hand in his direction in a haughty manner. "Forget it, you're not the first rude person I've met," she huffed.

"Sorry," the boy mumbled. "Um...where am I?"

The girl sighed. "Limbo, the passage between life and death."

"Okay," Shinichi replied slowly. "Why am I here?"

"Because the Living is trying to get rid of you and the Afterlife doesn't want you," the girl responded with a sardonic smile.

A moment of silence passed between them while Shinichi stared at the mysterious girl sharing the armchair with him. "You're not very nice," he finally decided.

She snorted. "Not in the job description."

"Job?" Shinichi echoed.

The girl shrugged. "I guide souls. There is an agreement between the Living and the Afterlife of when each soul is supposed to pass through Limbo from one world to the other. I'm a Shinigami – a god of death, if you will – who ensures the agreement is met. Only those who are meant to go to the Afterlife can pass."

He gawked at her. "Wait," he began. "So, I'm about to go..."

"No," she refuted. "Actually, you're not allowed to the Afterlife. I'm here to guide you back. You shouldn't be here."

"Oh." Well, that was a relief. He wasn't quite ready to leave the Living world yet. He had soccer to play and he should probably apologize to Ran. Wait... "Where's Ran?"

The girl next to him sighed. "The agreement between the Living and the Afterlife states that Mouri Ran will travel through when she is 5 years and 163 days old. That is, she needs to come through today."

"What?" Shinichi stared at the Shinigami, wide-eyed with disbelief. "You mean...Ran's supposed to die?"

"Yes, I believe that's the right term."

"No!" Shinichi reached out and grabbed the girl's arms. She seemed surprised by how close he suddenly was. "Ran can't die!" he protested. "She's my best friend!"

The strawberry blonde slowly pried his fingers from her arm. Her green eyes bored into his, and Shinichi suddenly realized he was inches from kissing that girl. Hastily, he drew back and promptly lost his balance, falling off the chair and onto the ground.

"Ouch!"

She peered at him from the chair she was still perched on, half-amused and half-solemn. "Unfortunately, Kudo-kun, the Laws of the Afterlife aren't that easy to alter," she informed him. "You can't break someone else's agreement – or your own, for that matter – just because it suits your fancy."

"I... Is there no way to extend the agreement?" he asked quietly, looking up at the winged girl pleadingly. "Ran can't die. She's my best friend!"

A long moment passed between them, and Shinichi can't quite tell what this girl was thinking.

Finally, she started softly. "There is a way..."

"Okay!" he agreed quickly, as though afraid she would change her mind.

She shook her head. "You should hear it before you agree," she suggested. "It will undoubtedly change your life as you know it."

He swallowed. That sounded ominous, but Shinichi was nothing if not stubborn. He stuck out his chin but kept quiet.

"You can make a...deal," the girl explained carefully. "Mouri Ran's life will become a...loan, if you will, that you agree to pay back, with interest."

Shinichi frowned. "How do I pay it back?"

"The Laws of the Afterlife state that no soul shall interfere with its agreements with the Living without approval," the girl continued. "When one person in your world deliberately kills another, they upset the balance in the agreements between the two worlds. The victim cannot enter the Afterlife before their time, but their bodies are no longer able to hold their soul in the Living. Lost souls then wander either in the Living or here in Limbo, causing further problems."

"I don't know what that has to do with the loan on Ran's life," Shinichi said, confused.

"You asked me how you would pay back that loan," the girl answered. "The short answer is – by working for the Afterlife. When the killer is brought to justice in your world, the Shinigami can arrange for the victim to enter the Afterlife prematurely by adding penalties in the agreement of the killer. It's...equivalent exchange, of a sort. Since they have disrupted the balance, they are punished in order to regain balance. This allows the Shinigami to clear the souls wandering around in Limbo and the Living, but only if the right person is held accountable. If you take this agreement, you will become a Harbinger, tasked with readjusting the balance between the two worlds. For every time you readjust the balance, you pay off the interest and loan."

"So I...need to catch killers in order to keep Ran alive," Shinichi summed up.

"Simply put, yes," the girl replied. "If you default on the payment, the deal will be broken."

"And she'll die – again," Shinichi finished.

"Yes. You understand though, that if you agree to this, your life will undoubtedly change," the girl repeated her earlier warning. "You'll likely have to become a detective or police officer to keep your end of this deal. You'll be giving up whatever other dream you may have."

Shinichi frowned. "Do I have to go out looking for dead people then?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.

The girl laughed, and Shinichi stared at her. Her laughter was like silvery bells on a cold winter evening – soft and tinkling, but leaving him just a bit cold.

"If you agree," she told him with a small smile, "and you turn out to be any good at it, the Shinigami will no doubt ensure you are in the area to help them with their job. Good Harbingers are difficult to come by."

"I don't think my mom will let me near dead bodies anytime soon though..."

She smiled again. "The payment terms won't start until you become of age," she clarified. "By the Laws of the Afterlife, when you turn fifteen, the repayments will start. However, in the meantime, interest will continue to build. Any interest you cannot repay on Mouri Ran's loan of life...will come out of yours."

Shinichi swallowed. He had always been smart for his age, but some of what this Shinigami (or angel or devil) in front of him was suggesting was still a big question mark to him. All he understood was that in order to save Ran, he had to start catching killers once he turned fifteen – just about ten years from now. And for his five year old mind, that was enough.

"I agree," he decided, staring boldly at the pretty strawberry blonde. "I'll do it."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi didn't really know how the whole right side of his body could ache so badly while the left side felt numb. He opened his eyes warily and blinked against the sunlight shining through the window. His eyelids felt heavy.

"Argh," he grunted.

"Shin-chan!"

Warm hands grasped his and he squeezed back blindly. "Mom?"

"Oh, thank goodness!" the brunette by his bedside exclaimed, reaching up with one hand to brush away her tears. "You and Ran-chan gave us such a scare!"

"Ran!" Shinichi sat up quickly in the bed and a hot flash of pain seared through his body. "Argh!" he cried out.

His mother gasped and pushed him back down onto the bed. "What are you doing?" she scolded gently.

"Ran," Shinichi repeated, feeling exhausted. "How is she?"

His mother's face softened. "She's fine," she reassured him. "They thought they lost her for a bit when her heart stopped, but they got her back. She's in the next room."

Shinichi nodded. Ran was alive. Now that he was lying in a hospital bed, pain searing through him, the whole conversation with that strawberry blonde seemed surreal. Maybe the whole thing had been a dream. Yea, that sounded more probable than the fact that he had really made a deal to loan out Ran's life. Ghosts, or wandering spirits, or Shinigami...they didn't exist.

Still... What if...

It couldn't hurt to maybe read about solving murders. If it turned out to be a dream, he would have lost nothing except some time reading.

"Mom," he started. "Do you think you could bring me a book? A mystery, maybe?"

His mother looked surprised. "Your dad has been hoping you would get into reading for a while and you've always preferred playing outside," she said. "What changed?"

Somehow, even at five years old, Shinichi knew that telling his mother he _might_ have made a deal with the devil was a bad idea.

"Just...I don't want to stay here with nothing to do," he shrugged.

"Alright," his mother responded with a smile. "Your dad went home for a quick shower. I'll phone him and tell him to bring a book."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi had always been smart for his age, but the speed with which he read through the small collection of children's mystery books in the Kudo household still shocked his parents. They were proud of him though, and his dad decided one day that if his only son loved reading so much, he would build into the house the largest library of mystery novels possible.

Shinichi found, as he continued to read, that despite the endeavor starting as somewhat involuntary, he rather enjoyed mysteries and cases. He started to solve the cases in the books before the characters, observed his father while he consulted for the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, and picked up reference textbooks to expand his knowledge, much to the bewilderment of other kids his age.

By the time he hit his pre-teen years, the other kids regarded him as somewhat of an eccentric, reciting random facts and blowing through puzzle books faster than they were published. Oh, they certainly liked him enough. He was a great soccer player and the smartest student in their class, but hanging out with him after school was never on anyone's list of things to do.

Except for Mouri Ran. Ran had stuck with Shinichi since the incident when they were five, and they seemed to be together all the time. On Shinichi's fifteenth birthday, Ran insisted they go to the ice-cream parlour to celebrate the occasion. They had just ordered sundaes when screaming came from the direction of the washroom.

Ran jumped in surprise in her seat. "What's going on?" she asked, looking around.

Shinichi looked in the direction of the washroom too.

A woman came stumbling out into the parlour, her eyes wide and fearful. "There's a...a...body!"

Some customers started to get up in panic while the store manager frantically tried to get everyone to stay put. "We've called the police," the manager raised his voice above the crowd. "Please, everyone, please calm down."

Shinichi met Ran's eyes across the table. She looked scared, and for a second, Shinichi thought he saw green eyes, even though he knew, without a doubt, that Ran had blue eyes.

"Shinichi," she whispered. "What do we do?"

He was silent for a moment. He had seen a million pictures of dead bodies in books, knew the criminal act inside out, had seen the proper police procedures for evidence gathering and interviews. But still, to approach a real dead body without anyone to help was daunting. This wasn't just a puzzle or one of the middle school students' missing jewelry.

He wanted to wait until the police got there. He looked outside the window to see if he could catch a glimpse of police sirens...and froze at what he saw in the window.

He could see his own reflection, and just to the right, in the place where the table should be, a strawberry blonde with green eyes stared back at him. She looked older than he remembered, probably around sixteen now. Her dress was shorter, with a ruffled skirt that came down to just above her knees, and her wings spread behind her like some curtain made of the midnight sky.

He turned his head away from the window and back to the table, but all he saw was Ran. She was still looking at him questioningly, wondering what to do. And it was obvious to Shinichi that she hadn't seen what he had seen in the window. Ran's hair was long and shiny, her blue eyes full of life. She was a karate champion with her whole life ahead of her – smart, kind, and beautiful.

Shinichi stood up and started walking in the direction of the washroom – the crime scene.

Maybe that strawberry blonde was a hallucination, but just like ten years ago when he had first asked his mother to bring him a mystery novel, Ran's life wasn't a risk he was willing to take. He would investigate, and like his foray into reading, he was sure that the cases would get easier as he continued to be exposed to them.

He would solve cases in real life just like he solved them in the books he read – because Ran was lively and beautiful and he _still_ didn't believe it was her time to go.

-o-o-o-o-o-

End Part I.

Word Count: 2,686


	2. Interlude

**Between the Devil & Me**

By Hikari-chan (Chitsuki)

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I make no profit from this.

**Notes:** Yes, the huge time skip is supposed to happen. I did mention it's short and only 3 parts. This one turns the fic (semi) canon-compliant. Also, probable typos.

The quick update for those of you who left the reviews. :) I'm old school and come from a time when FFN didn't have review response, so I forget it exists. And by the time I remember, I feel ridiculous responding. :P But I appreciate them. So thank you!

-o-o-o-o-o-

_Part II - Interlude_

-o-o-o-o-o-

Conan met Haibara Ai for the first time at Teitan Elementary School. His homeroom teacher introduced her as the new transfer student. Since he was perpetually bored in class, Conan didn't really pay attention when she was introduced. Then she walked up next to him and sat down – that's when he got his first good look at her.

To say he was startled would be an understatement. The little strawberry blonde next to him was a shocking mirror image of the Shinigami he _thought_ he had met when he was five years old. He still wasn't really sure it was all a dream, and he was (still) unwilling to use Ran's life as a gambling chip.

"Nice to meet you," she said in monotone.

Conan blinked. "Yea..."

He turned back to the front of the classroom but continued watching her in his peripheral vision. Bizarre didn't begin to cover it. The last time he had seen that strawberry blonde, she had been a teenager...and a figment of his imagination. Now she was sitting next to him, in class.

Even after discovering her alter-ego as the scientist responsible for the drug that shrunk him, Conan couldn't help but wonder and stare, trying to see if there was more to her than that. Interestingly, the fascination didn't seem to be one-way. Haibara observed him just as often. There was, as intangible as it was, a kind of bond between them, and Conan wasn't sure if it was because they were both shrunken (human) adults in children's bodies, or if it was because of another force at work. He had no answers regarding Haibara's link to the Shinigami, and no way to find the answer.

At first, it hadn't been difficult to distinguish between Haibara and his nameless strawberry blonde Shinigami. There was something about Haibara, physically, that bugged him. Something didn't quite match up with his memory of the Shinigami, child or teenager. Plus, Haibara was cold and calculating, biting and cynical. He couldn't see her as the Shinigami who had been sympathetic enough to help him save Ran or kind enough to warn him his life would change, even though she had been kind of snarky. However, the more he got to know Haibara, the harder it became to remind himself that they were different. Haibara's indifference turned into sisterly (or even motherly) concern when it came to Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko. Conan saw her love for animals and found himself verbally sparring with her on more than one occasion. Sometimes, he thought he saw _wings_ on her, even though something in the back of his mind insisted there were other differences.

He entertained the idea that if there really _was_ a higher force at work, maybe the Afterlife pitied him and sent him someone on an equal intellectual level in order to spare him the suffering of boredom. How morbidly interesting would it be, that the detective who bumped into dead bodies wherever he went, was actually accompanied by a Shinigami? Even though he was (mostly) a non-believer, that idea made him snort in amusement on bad days.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Conan stayed late at the Professor's after one particularly bad case with the Shounen Tanteidan. He wasn't ready to face Kogorou and Ran and pretend to be a child yet, and Haibara was actually a great cook. He fell asleep on the couch in Agasa's living room while both occupants of the house went back to the basement for their respective experiments.

It may have been the effects of the case, but he dreamt of a green-eyed strawberry blonde with black wings apologizing to him. When he woke up with a start, he finally knew what the minor detail that had been bugging him all along was.

Haibara had turquoise eyes.

The strawberry blonde in his dreams had green eyes.

They _couldn't_ be the same. And for some reason, he was sorely disappointed.

Why though? He should be relieved, really. It was another point in proving that they weren't the same person...uh, creature. And it was another point in favour of the fact there were no such thing as Shinigami and the Afterlife.

He sighed and got up, looking out the glass sliding doors at the back of the house. The night was clear, and he knew that the weather should be relatively warm. He let himself out into the backyard and went to find the ladder that he knew the Professor kept in the shed. The last time he had done this was when he was fifteen, after solving the murder in the ice-cream parlour on his birthday. The ladder was bigger than he remembered. Of course it was. Still, he managed to place it securely against the wall and climbed his way up to the roof.

One of the things Conan remembered loving as a (real) kid about Agasa's house was its large flat roof. The Professor used to show him and Ran stars and watched meteor showers with them. Unfortunately, as he got older, he wasn't able to climb the ladder as easily and the rooftop outings had stopped.

Agasa's roof was as flat as he remembered. Conan picked a spot and laid down, spreading his arms wide and looking up at the black sky. He wasn't sure how long he had been there, but after what he felt couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes, he heard clanging and footsteps, and he knew someone was coming up.

"There you are," came Haibara's voice somewhere above his head. "I was wondering what all that noise was."

She came and sat down next to him, turning her head towards the sky too. "I didn't know this was possible on the Professor's roof," she commented quietly.

"Yea," he answered. "I used to come up all the time. It's serene. It helps me think."

They remained in companionable silence, watching the stars blink, then Conan spoke softly, as though afraid to disturb the peace of the night around them. "Hey, Haibara."

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in...the supernatural?" Conan whispered.

In his peripheral vision, he could see her turning to stare down at his face with curiosity. "Every time we come across something potentially impossible, you scoff and go find the hidden mechanism. Now you want to know if I believe in ghosts?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Humour me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, as though trying to figure out what he was up to. "Do _you_ believe in the supernatural?" she tossed back.

"I asked first," he responded stubbornly.

"Oh, that's mature," she scoffed.

"I'm currently a seven year old," he deadpanned. "This is about as mature as I'm going to be."

She rolled her eyes and turned to look back up at the moon. "I...I believe in some supernatural elements," she answered.

"What do you mean?"

"As a scientist, it would be against my nature to say that things don't have a proper, logical explanation," Haibara explained. "However, there are still many things that science has failed to explain. I'm not against the idea that there _could_ be a larger force at work. I do believe in karma, and I believe in Fate. Those would be considered supernatural."

A moment of silence followed where both of them considered Haibara's answer. Conan turned his head to look at Haibara's profile. Silhouetted against the soft light of the moon, he could vividly picture her as the mysterious girl who haunted his dreams. They even had similar snarky personalities, but that was impossible, wasn't it? He thought, with a bit of cynicism, that maybe this was how Ran felt too – thinking that Conan was so much like Shinichi that they could be the same person, but also knowing that it should be impossible.

"What about Shinigami?" Conan added quietly, still watching Haibara for any signs that were out of the ordinary.

She looked at him again, seemingly confused. "The God of Death?"

"I think '_the_' might be the wrong article to use," he mused. "More like _a_ god of death."

"Why? You think you might be one?" she bantered with a smirk.

_No, I think_ you _might be one_, Conan thought sardonically. Instead, he sat up and shrugged. "Curious, that's all."

"Well, if there is one, he likes _you_, that's for sure," she snickered.

"Gee, thanks," he muttered.

They fell back into comfortable silence. Conan wondered what his answer to the same question he had posed Haibara should be. He supposed he _had_ to believe in the supernatural, just a little, considering he was still wondering if Haibara was really a Shinigami and if that deal he made when he was five was real. He didn't dare test it out by purposely _not_ solving a case. That wouldn't get past his conscience anyways. And truth be told, he loved his cases and puzzles, and if some winged creature showed up and said his "debt" had been repaid, he would probably still solve cases because he loved being a detective.

"My turn," Haibara spoke suddenly. "Do _you_ believe there are larger forces at work?"

"No." The answer was quick and automatic.

She raised an eyebrow. "Not even a little bit?"

He ran a hand through his hair. How was he supposed to explain this without sounding absolutely insane? It was one thing to entertain the idea in his own mind, but if he acknowledged out loud that he believed in the supernatural, he would be acknowledging that Ran should have died twelve years ago, and he would have to come to terms with the fact that he worked for the devil...kind of. He wasn't really ready to accept either as his reality. There were too many things on his plate right now without dealing with something he couldn't confirm or control.

"I...can't believe that," he told Haibara quietly. "Not fully."

"You _can't_ believe that?" she echoed. "That's an odd way of putting it."

He shook his head. "It goes against my nature as a detective," he paraphrased her earlier sentiment with a fake smile.

She didn't push any further, and Conan was thankful. If he had to be honest with himself, Haibara's ability to know when to stop asking him questions, as though she could read his mind, had always been one of his favourite things about her. It made his relationship with her more comfortable, more easy-going, although in the eyes of everyone else, it just looked complex and _un_comfortable.

Haibara raised her arms above her head and stretched before standing up. "I'm going to head down," she informed him before turning around to leave.

"Wait, Haibara."

"What?"

Conan stood up too and stuck his hands into his pockets. "This is going to sound strange," he began.

"That's a good opening," she commented with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. "Did you ever have green eyes?"

She stared at him in silence. After a long moment, she responded, "That opening sounds lot more reasonable now."

She walked closer to him, and he held his breath as she invaded his personal space, placing her face so close to his he could see the irises of her eyes. Her eyes were the same brilliant turquoise they had always been, not the green he remembered in his dreams.

"Do they look green?" she whispered, her breath brushing lightly against his lips.

His eyes widened and he took two steps back, almost falling over in the process. She watched him with amusement dancing across her face.

"Um..." He stammered. He blushed, realizing how close he had come to kissing her...again. Sort of.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," she responded, giving him a knowing grin, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking. She gave him a small wave and started for the ladder that would take her back down to the ground. "Don't stay too late," she told him without bothering to look back. "Your girlfriend will worry."

"She's not my girlfriend," he replied automatically.

He sighed. Well, that was half a lie. Ran was as close to a girlfriend as she could be without the physical aspect of things. And if that deal he made when he was five was real, she was also forever tied to him. Parts of him insisted that it had to be real, because he and Ran had escaped death one too many times for it to be coincidental, and he encountered dead bodies significantly more than a normal person. Then again, the "deal" was as illogical as everything else.

It had to be a fluke that he had seen a green-eyed version of Haibara when he was five, and an older version of her when he was fifteen. Haibara and that nameless strawberry blonde can't be the same person...uh, creature. Haibara was solid and human and real.

He snorted to himself. Right. Coincidence. And Conan and Shinichi had to be different people. It was just a coincidence that they looked alike and sounded alike and acted alike.

Goddamn. His head hurt. He was going back to the Detective Agency to sleep. His priority right now should be the Black Organization, not this crazy train of thought where Haibara was some sort of angel of death.

-o-o-o-o-o-

End Part II.

Word Count: 2,197


	3. Postlude

**Between the Devil & Me**

By Hikari-chan (Chitsuki)

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I make no profit from this.

**Notes:** Here is the conclusion. I'm not sure it's quite satisfactory, but the three conversations between Shinichi/Conan and Ai were actually what I wanted to write. (I'm sure you've figure out which are the 3.) To my dear reviewers, thanks for dropping me a word even though it hasn't been the best work you've read. Much appreciated. :)

**Warnings:** Typos, some intentional loose ends.

-o-o-o-o-o-

_Part III - Postlude_

-o-o-o-o-o-

Conan had always thought that the takedown of the Black Organization would end with a _bang_. In reality though, the initial attack was the climax of his investigation. Less than twenty-four hours after receiving the antidote from Haibara, he had joined in the capture of its top members, and after that rush of thrill and adrenaline, the excitement had died quickly. Tracking and capturing the remaining members was a lot of tedious work and the paperwork that was involved buried most of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police and the FBI up to their ears.

That was the main reason Shinichi hadn't visited the Agasa house since receiving the antidote, and that was the reason it took him a month before he dropped in to check on the Professor and Haibara.

"Hakase!" Shinichi called as he let himself in.

"Ah, Shinichi," the Professor greeted him in the foyer. He looked particularly proud, which Shinichi thought was a little strange since he hadn't heard of any new inventions. "I see that antidote is working quite well."

"Yea, it really is," Shinichi agreed with a grin. "I should thank Haibara for her work."

The Professor frowned at this. "Who?"

"Haibara," Shinichi repeated as he trekked into the living room. "You know, the snarky strawberry blonde you've been living with? Where is she anyways?"

Shinichi turned around to look at Agasa, who was looking back at him with bewilderment on his face.

"Uh..." Agasa stammered. "Did you...hit your head during the case?"

"What? No. I'm just fine. What are you talking about?"

Agasa continued to look at him in confusion. "I was about to ask _you_ that. Who's Haibara?"

Shinichi stared at his long-time neighbor, who stared back. It was obvious to the young detective that this wasn't a trick the old man was playing. The Professor genuinely didn't know who Haibara Ai was. Shinichi looked around the house while Agasa followed him, concern on his face. There were no fashion magazines or girlish clothes or elaborate chemistry equipment in the house. Fifteen minutes into the fruitless search, Shinichi was back to standing in the middle of the living room, feeling extremely bewildered himself.

There had been no signs in the Agasa residence that Haibara Ai had _existed_, much less lived there.

Shinichi rounded on the Professor. "What was I poisoned with?" he asked.

"The APTX-4869," Agasa answered, his frown deepening.

"How do you know the drug's name if you had never met its creator?"

"It was in the file we brought back after helping the police solve a murder involving a university professor."

"Then who made the antidote?"

"I did," Agasa frowned. "I do have a science degree even if I hadn't fiddled with biochemistry for a while. Shinichi, are you sure you're okay? You know all this. You were there for all of it."

Shinichi swallowed the lump in his throat. "Okay, then am I the only survivor of the poison?"

"I think so?" Agasa answered uncertainly. "You should know better than me. You've been at the police station going through the Organization's files. Wouldn't the list of survivors be there?"

Shinichi nodded dumbly, and without another word, he headed out the door and towards his own house. What in the world was going on? Why didn't Agasa remember the strawberry blonde? And what the heck had happened to her?

-o-o-o-o-o-

Two weeks later, Shinichi came to a conclusion. It wasn't Agasa that had the problem – it was him.

Going through a list of everyone he knew who had met Haibara, he had found out that no one remembered the turquoise-eyed strawberry blonde. From Ran to Hattori to the Shounen Tanteidan, everyone remembered Conan, but no one remembered the other not-quite-child. He finally remembered Haibara's shady past and went through the Black Organization files in a relentless manner, searching for Sherry and the APTX-4869. Here, he found information that was interesting.

There were _no_ survivors of the APTX-4869, not even lab rats. And the head of research was a woman named the Hell Angel who had died five years prior, not Sherry.  
Hell Angel, Shinichi recalled rather quickly, was Haibara's mother, and with that, he dug into the Miyano family. Soon, he was staring at a faded photo of a girl that looked exactly the same as the Shinigami he had met when he was five, down to the big green eyes.

_Name: Miyano Shiho. Death: Confirmed. Cause of death: experimental drug._

He stared at the words, then the photo, then the words again. If Miyano Shiho was dead, and had been for the past _thirteen years_, then who the heck had accompanied him during his investigation into the Black Organization?

So, either Miyano (or Haibara or whatever her name was) really _was_ a Shinigami who had been sent to help(?) him, who had somehow altered everyone's memory of her after her...mission...or he, Kudo Shinichi, was completely batshit insane.

And right now, he thought that the latter was the more probable choice.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Shinichi's research into the Miyano family almost completely overtook his life. He still solved any murders that came his way with his usual efficiency, but he took every chance to dig deeper into the history of the Miyano family. He had already known that they worked for the Black Organization, and it appeared that they had also died at the Organization's hands, which meant that most of what he _thought_ was true hadn't changed. He had no good explanation for the portions that were different than what he remembered though. Shinichi was about ready to hire himself a shrink when help came from an unexpected source.

Ran had seen him obsess over the research for weeks before she finally showed up one day at the Kudo mansion and forcefully dragged him outside.

"I don't know what you're looking for, Shinichi," she told him with a frown, "but holing up inside your house isn't going to help!"

They bumped into Agasa on his way home from the grocery store.

"Hakase!" Ran greeted the Professor enthusiastically.

"Good day, Ran-kun," Agasa responded cheerfully. "Taking Shinichi out for a walk?"

"Yes, he's been cooped up for too long," Ran agreed.

Shinichi snorted. "You guys are making me sound like a dog."

Ran ignored him. "What did you buy, Hakase?" she asked the Professor instead.

Agasa peered into his grocery bag. "Some oranges, fresh fish, broccoli, whole wheat bread, and skim milk," he answered.

A moment of silence followed.

"Wow, those are really healthy choices," Ran finally blurted out. "Are you um...on a diet?"

Agasa was still looking into his grocery bag. "Huh, err, no. I don't even think I know how to cook fish and broccoli," he muttered, sounding a bit confused.

Shinichi narrowed his eyes. Both Ran and Agasa were right – those were unusual grocery choices for the Professor, but Shinichi knew a girl who would have picked those exact items for Agasa. "Hey Hakase," Shinichi interjected, the suspicion growing stronger. "Did you walk to the store?"

Agasa looked up and blinked. "Um, yea, I did," he answered, sounding surprised.

"Why didn't you drive?" Shinichi prodded.

"Err...I don't know," Agasa replied. "Huh, it must be a reflex. Like my body knows I need the exercise!"

Shinichi smiled. _Or,_ he thought with triumph, _because Hakase's muscle memory remembered being told to exercise by walking to the store, and he remembered being told off if he came back with junk._

This meant that Shinichi wasn't crazy. Haibara Ai did, at one point, exist in the Living world.

-o-o-o-o-o-

For three months, Shinichi followed every lead he could find about Miyano Shiho. It was an exhausting and often disappointing search, but he was convinced that he could find some kind of logical explanation for the existence of Haibara Ai. He could barely explain this need to himself. She had been such a huge part of the most difficult portion of his life that he couldn't just give her up as a figment of his imagination, even if that was the easiest explanation. He did, however, allow Ran to take him out to various places with her, like they used to. He still wanted to protect her and make sure nothing happened to her, after all. It was a need as strong as the one that drove his search for Miyano Shiho.

It was, fittingly, in the middle of the festival of the dead during the summer that he finally found what he was looking for. He had left Ran with Sonoko at the game stands and wandered slightly away from the festival to a bridge overlooking a small pond. The light was dim here and there was no one around. Everyone was at the festival. Suddenly, there was a hazy glow in the middle of the bridge. Curious, Shinichi wandered closer.

The haze seemed to come sharper into focus, until a teenaged girl with strawberry blonde hair and large dark wings stood in front of him. Her dress was different than what he remembered. It was still black and ruffled, but it was strapless now, and a corset trimmed with silver ribbons cinched her waist. The ruffles fell asymmetrically around the knee-length skirt, and Shinichi could see black heels with silver ribbon on her feet.

"Hello, Kudo-kun," she greeted him, her green eyes glimmering.

"Haibara!" he jogged forward, wanting to touch her, to prove to himself that she was real.

She shook her head, stopping him about two feet from her. "I only came to tell you to stop looking for me," she told him quietly.

"I...can't," he whispered, staring at her pale form. "I...I think I'm going crazy. I don't...believe. But..." He trailed off.

She quirked an amused smile in his direction and seated herself on the railing of the bridge. "Alright," she replied. "What do you need to know to put this to rest?"

That question was like opening a dam. "Does the Shinigami really exist? Why did you lie to me if they do? Where did you come from? Why were you real before? Why did you disappear? What happened to you? Why are your eyes green _now_?"

The strawberry blonde laughed. "I think you're missing someone to talk to," she teased.

"Yea," he agreed dryly. "_You_."

She waved a hand dismissively. "There's always the Angel."

"Oh, you mean you?" he retorted, gesturing to the wings still spread behind her.

She rolled her eyes. "I like to think I'm more like the Devil," she smirked. "Black's more my colour than white."

Shinichi snorted. "Of course you would make this about fashion," he scoffed.

It was so easy to fall back into the banter that had always existed between them. Shinichi suddenly felt an ache in his chest; he had missed this so, so much. The realization sobered him immediately.

"Haibara, or Miyano, what happened? Why am I the only person who remembers you?" he asked.

"You can call me Haibara," she replied. "I've always been Haibara to you. But I'm afraid I can only partially answer your questions. Some things – I can't tell you. It would be against the Laws of the Afterlife."

"I'll take what I can get," Shinichi decided.

She looked at him thoughtfully and began, "The APTX-4869 would have prematurely ended your contract – killed you – if we hadn't interfered. It made it easier that you were a Harbinger, and it didn't take a lot to convince all the other Shinigami to pool their powers since you're the best we've had for centuries. Despite that, there were some side effects to interfering with another world. In your case, it de-aged you. Still, your body survived and that's what mattered in keeping your soul in the Living world. I was selected to keep an eye on you, make sure you stayed out of trouble since our interference typically caused instability. When they finally found an antidote to the poison and you no longer needed me, I returned to where I belong."

Shinichi was silent as he considered her words. So his deal with the devil hadn't just saved Ran's life so many years ago, it had also saved his own.

"So I probably owe another debt for my own life?" he guessed.

She smirked. "Something like that, but believe me, at the rate you've been going, you'll finish repaying it before you know it. Despite being troubled right now because you can't decide what to believe, you're still doing a good job readjusting the balance. All you have to do is accept that we exist in the background somewhere, and your life will go on as always, including the bodies that drop dead around you."

"Gee, thanks," Shinichi muttered. Then, as though a thought had just occurred to him, he added hopefully, "Hey, so, if I need you again..."

The young woman shook her head. "It doesn't work like that," she told him. "Not just because you say so."

"But...but I need you here to, I don't know, help me believe!" Shinichi argued.

She snorted. "You're going to need to do better than that."

He closed his eyes. He knew, deep down, that he didn't _need_ her, at least not in the way that Conan had needed her. Over the months, he had questioned himself why it was so important to find her and had never really arrived at a good explanation. Talking to her now though, falling back into their own easy-going ways, he thought, maybe, he had a perfectly good explanation.

"I need you here. I think... I'm a little bit in love with you."

He opened his eyes to find her staring silently at him. She bit the corner of her lip like she was trying to think of something to say to alleviate the sudden tension, and he found his eyes drawn to the small action. Her lips were full and pink, and he couldn't stop his thoughts from straying to the idea of kissing her. He had come so close to doing so, twice. What would it be like?

"Don't."

Shinichi startled. He looked back up into her eyes, glittering in the dim light.

"Don't what?" he asked.

She gave him a knowing look. "What you were just thinking," she replied. "Don't do it."

He felt heat rising in his cheeks and fought to keep the blush down. He looked away. "You don't know," he muttered.

The smirk on her face was familiar. "You don't think so?" she drawled. "Should I spell it out?" With this, the tension was broken.

He sighed, raising his eyes again. "No," he admitted reluctantly. Then, he took a deep breath and ploughed on. "I just told you I'm a little bit in love with you. You can't blame me for thinking it."

"I didn't," she pointed out. "I just told you not to do it."

"Why not?" he asked defiantly.

"Because," she whispered sadly, "you'll be very disappointed with the results."

"Because you don't like me?" he reasoned.

She gave him a dry look. "Fishing is unbecoming," she informed him. "I prefer my men with more self-confidence."

"Fine," Shinichi grinned boyishly. "So you like me but you won't kiss me because it'll change your mind about staying."

"You wish," she replied derisively.

"Then what's your reason?" he challenged her.

"Because I'm not solid. You can't touch me."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Shinichi spoke up again. "I could touch you before."

"A benefit you no longer have," she reminded him.

"So..." Shinichi pondered aloud, "if I had tried to kiss you before…."

The apparition before him gave him a small smile but didn't say anything. Slowly, she got up from her seated position on the railing, her dark wings spreading out behind her.

"Kudo-kun, it's time I go," she told him solemnly. "I was only allotted this time so you will stop looking for me."

He stared hard at her features, everything from the strawberry blonde hair framing her face to those cool glittering eyes to the clothes she wore. He wanted to commit everything to memory.

"Your eyes," he blurted out suddenly. He didn't elaborate, but she knew what he was trying to ask.

"Something else that will have to remain unsolved, unfortunately," she smiled mysteriously, giving Shinichi a feeling that she knew why but didn't want to tell him.

He decided to afford her the same courtesy she had always given him, and stopped pushing. Instead, he asked quietly, "Will I ever see you again?"

She looked sadly at him. "If all goes well in your life," she answered, "the next time you see me..."

She had trailed off, but he knew what she wanted to say. The next time he saw her, a Shinigami, would be when he dies.

"Can you do me a favour then?" he said.

She gave him a curious look. "Within my power and the Laws of the Afterlife," she responded.

"Could you call me by my first name?" he requested. "I don't think I've ever heard you call me by my first name."

"Is that so?" she replied, a smile on her face. "I seem to recall calling you Conan before."

"That's not my real name," he pointed out, "and you know that's not what I meant."

She flew over to stand before him, and in that moment, Shinichi thought he had never seen anything as ethereal as she was: pale skin, dark clothes, midnight-coloured wings spread behind her like a curtain made of the night sky. She was_his_ Angel of Death, and as morbid as the thought was, he knew he would never see another dead body again without thinking of his connection to her.

Right before his eyes, she started to fade away, her skin becoming more translucent. Their time was up.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he whispered, "Goodbye, Ai."

She smiled back at him, but it was almost invisible now. "Goodbye, Shinichi."

Then she was gone, and Shinichi was staring at an empty space like nothing had ever been there. He felt like a piece of his heart had just been cut out. Maybe she didn't exist in the physical world, but that didn't mean he couldn't feel something for her. He had spent two long years in her company, and he would always remember her.

He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there, staring at that empty spot, until a voice called his name.

"Shinichi! There you are!"

He turned around and came face to face with Ran, the person he had pledged to keep saving for the rest of his life, even if she didn't know that.

"Hey, Ran," he replied.

She seemed to notice his solemn mood rather quickly. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yes, of course," he answered immediately. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Ran hesitated. "Alright," she said slowly.

"Were you looking for me?" Shinichi said, changing the subject because he knew that Ran hadn't totally bought the fact that he was fine.

"Oh! That's right. Someone found a dead body behind the watermelon stand about ten minutes ago," Ran informed him. "I've called the police, but I thought I'd let you know since you always end up in the middle of these investigations anyways."

Shinichi smiled ironically. Ten minutes ago, he, the Shinigami's favourite tool, and his Angel of Death had been in the same place. _Of course_ there was a murder. It really shouldn't come as a surprise anymore. Well, there was no use in dallying. He would really like to enter Limbo debt-free in fifty or sixty years.

Glancing one last time at the spot Ai had last stood, he turned to Ran and said, "Lead the way."

-o-o-o-o-o-

End Part III.

Word Count: 3,274  
Cumulative Word Count: 8,157

**Closing Notes:** And now you know why I didn't list a real pairing for this. In reference to "Angel", Ai obviously meant Ran, but Shinichi heard it without the capital A, so he thought of it as a creature with wings. I think most other things are self-explanatory. Some loose ends were intentional, partially to maintain some sense of mystery, and partially because I meant for this fic to be short and didn't want to spend half the chapter tying things up.

Despite everything that was wrong with it, I hope it has been a fun read anyway. Until next time!


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